Welcome to my first blog!
I have been married for over 8 months now to a fabulous husband and it has been a wonderful roller coaster ride of ups and downs and I wouldn't change it for anything. One thing I noticed straight away was the pressure to have children, this came from many well meaning neighbours, friends and family and it amazed me how quick it started. I just got married and I was already having to let people know it wasn't in our schedule for a while and why. I know many of you have experienced the same, so it made me wonder why everyone else is so keen to get others to start having families?
Another reason why I am discussing this is because I have been having an internal fight with myself! One side says, I want a baby now! The other sensible side says, wait, wait wait, you have time and besides you just got married and should be having fun with that, one thing at a time!
I understand it is a beautiful thing and is an expression of your love for one another, but on a personal level I really would like to wait a few years. Learn more about each other, spend time on my marriage first and then establish a safe and healthy environment to bring up children in. I know it is a very personal decision and everyone's circumstances are very different, but I know that's what I plan to do! Is that such a bad thing?
I've come to the conclusion its all a matter of hormones for me! The reason one side wants a baby now is because of the happy little pill I take to prevent such events, ironic huh! In August last year I could have sworn I was pregnant, all the symptoms plagued me, but nope all negative. Now its happening again, but I figured out that it definately is my pill, I changed from one to another and back again. Well that is a sigh of relief as I would really like to stick to my non-hormone influenced plan!
Has anyone else experienced the same?
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Hey Megan, I went through a 'possible pregnant' patch just last week. Was getting 'morning sickness' every morning for over a week. Decided to take some tests and they were both negative. I was glad, because like you, I want to have kids but not right now because the marriage isn't as stable as I would like it to be, nor is our financial situation. Nigel was dissapointed though, he wouldn't mind a baby now. He's just turned 30 and all of a sudden he wants kids! Go figure. I guess though, whenever it happens it is a blessing and I know you guys would be wonderful parents! - Love Neeka
ReplyDeleteIn the same boat as you!
ReplyDeleteMarried 3 years now & had a few scares- even being on the pill.
People always asking, when's the next grandchild due, when are you having a baby??
Why is it really their business?
Honestly, do they maybe think it's gonna make us any happier?
Enjoy yourselves for as long as you can. I've seen too many people have babies early & they regret not getting to do things they wanted to do.
Yes- set yourselves up financially. Yes- get to know each others habits.
And you know what, you will know when the time is right. Even tho there are times we question ourselves & pine for a little one.
Put all your love & attention into yourself & your marriage for the moment, it's very rewarding.
Then, when you decide on a bubby, you're marriage foundation will be rock solid.
Much happiness to you